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I haven’t been to sleep since yesterday. My head is hurting and idk why. It’s extremely gloomy and somber outside. Currently listening to Alina Baraz album on my record player. Maybe I should pray for peace. Other than this state I’m in right now, everything else is cool for the most part. 

I’ve been thinking about how this year has been going thus far. It’s been interesting, that’s for sure. I’ve also been thinking about how I grew up, which is random I know. I grew up being sheltered. I was shy and quiet. I’ve always stayed to myself. I’ve forever been genuine with a big heart to match. I always thought I’ve been different because I considered myself to be a loner, which now in today’s society is known as an introvert. With that being said, I grew up in a household full of women. They never taught me how to be a woman per se. As a kid, I often felt alone and misunderstood. Come to think of it, I was probably depressed back then and didn’t know it. Le sigh... 

In hindsight, I wasn’t taught a lot. I was just told to make decent grades and don’t come home with any babies. My mom definitely put fear in my heart. I had so many ambitions, but I was never taught how to go out and actually achieve them. Through it all, I’ve maintained. I’ve stayed down, genuine, honest and loving... even when I didn’t want or know how to. 32 feels good. Coming into more into myself. I love the best way I know how. I’m constantly learning and growing. Doing my damnest to make good decisions, while living unapologetically. 

it’s love. All ways. Always.