Entertain the Gray (Grey)

Life as I’ve known has changed drastically. Someone should cue Young Jeezy x Vacation. The holidays are coming up and I feel meh. On top of that, my peace has been violated and sorely interrupted. I am greatly and utterly drained, emotionally and mentally. I’m doing my best to keep my head above water, but, it’s beyond difficult. I have a roommate that’s getting on my everlasting nerve, a new job that I’m doing my best to adapt to and of course daily adulting. It feels like it’s all a bit.... overwhelming. But, like my therapist said... learn how to entertain the gray. I’m really doing my best to keep that same energy. I can thoroughly appreciate the prayers that folks cover me with. As much as I want to go MIA... I can’t. I have to allow myself to be vulnerable and feel what I need to feel. Entertain the gray. The only thing that’s keeping me sane at the moment is... God, work, and hanging with my homies. Thank God for the simple things. I just pray for some normalcy sometime in the near future. Like really in the NEAR future. This year has been full of ups/down, and I at least wanted to end it on a good note. In hindsight, there are 40 more days until 2020 so things could relatively change. In the meantime... the only thing I can control is myself and how I react. I’m also continuing to work on things and be the best version of myself possible. Even tho in the process. I’m being lied to, manipulated, and betrayed. With the good, the bad, and the in between.... we still gotta learn how to entertain the gray. Just pray my strength and courage while I work it out for my good....