Summa Tings

Life. It sure has a way of humbling you. I’m a witness. So many things I’m realizing these days. One is that life is precious and it is to be lived the way that you want it to; as long as it’s legal and you aren’t hurting anyone. Secondly, time waits for NO ONE. Thirdly, if you want something bad enough, 🗣YOU WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. That’s where I am right now. I’ve been talking about it and fantasizing about it for years. It’s time to stop bs’n and make my dream come a reality. I’m actually excited now that I have a plan in motion. I know it will be far from easy, but I know ((or at least hope) it’ll be worth it in the end. 32 feels really grown up to me. Idk why, lol. I still lowkey look like a baby in the face but I’m an adult. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I never quite had a plan for my life or where exactly I wanted to go. I’ve just always wanted stability. A strong yearning for it. I haven’t had it throughout my adulthood. I’ve stayed on the struggle bus tryna maintain because I’ve had to live in survival mode. It’s no fault of my own. Life mostly happens to us and as cliché as it may sound, it’s all about how we react. And of course everyone’s journey is different. I’ve had hella good things happen, as well as bad... but I’ve done my best to not live by that. I don’t want the good things to define me, nor the bad. I’m just finding my way. I’m still striving for happiness, love, peace, and security within myself. Slowly but surely I’m curating the life I want. It’s all a process. Not so much about the right now, but moreso about the ‘end game.’ What is that you want out of life? Are you happy? What are you working towards? Questions I’ve been asking myself lately. I’m getting older and the days keep rolling by, which turn into weeks, months, and years. I want something magnificent and magical to show for myself. I don’t wanna be miserable, regretful, and bitter when I’m 40+. That’s a terrible way to live. My spirit and soul are so much bigger than that. I want all the happiness, peace, and love my heart can hold. I not only want that, I deserve it. We all do. 

love. all ways. always.