It’s been a week since you’ve been gone and I’m still in disbelief. I hate feeling like this. A piece of me is gone & it’s never coming back. I get why people say, “My condolences, or I’m sorry for your loss.” doesn’t mean anything. I totally understand now. Those sentiments do not make me feel any better, it still makes me want to burst out in tears. Your memorial is coming up & I’m dreading it. Not ready to say goodbye. Another part of me is ready, just so I can properly grieve how I need to. Grieving/mourning feels A LOT like depression, & that’s not a place I want to be. For the longest time it’s been just us... me, my mom, my gma, & my sister. Now you’re gone & idk what to do or how to feel. They say grief is ongoing & everyone deals with it differently. It is definitely a large blow to me personally. I will say that today has been the easiest day of the week. I’ve been a little bit more talkative & cool to be around. I know the pain of you being gone will never go away but hopefully it gets easier. I keep looking at your pictures thinking man you were mean, but also super sweet (when you wanted it to be, lol). You were indeed a sour patch kid. You loved us to the best of of your ability. Sometimes you went all the way left, but I believe your heart was in the right place. I’m thankful for the prayers from people that are close to me. Day by day, it gets slightly easier.
love. all ways. always.
👑 ALB for life.
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