Things...

I am a tomboy. I always have been and always will be. However, I know how to dress when need be. Because I'm always working or going to school...my attire has always been jeans, hoodies, tshirts, and tennis shoes. That's just where I'm comfortable. I don't have to change who I am or how I dress for anyone. I've always lived by that. Even though I can dress up when need be...I'm still self conscious. I hate shopping and I only do when I have to. I lowkey get anxiety going shopping. As I've gotten older, its gotten a little better. I'm normally in and out. I despise going to multiple stores, browsing or even going window shopping. It's hella annoying.

It's crazy that I say that because that's actually what I did today when I got off work. LOL. Last minute preparation for my birthday trip next week. I really need clothes in general, esp for the summer. My wardrobe is limited. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I'm proud of myself tho. I went to at least 4 stores and bought some stuff. Luckily some of the things I got was on sale. The last couple of years I've been attempting to step out of my comfort zone. Like wearing more dresses, bolder colors, and more tightness. 😉 So, this time around was no different. I got some shirts, a dress, a romper and a couple of pairs of shorts. Pretty good, right?

I thought so. 🙃 I realize tho when I try on clothes that I'm def self conscious. my legs are beat up, I have body acne, I feel fat, cellulite etc. I just feel uncomfortable in general. But, I fight thru the negative feelings and buy what I like. Breaking comfort zones is hard. Anyway. I come home
to lay everything on my bed, try my stuff on, and see what's what. I'm pretty happy with all I purchased.

I harrassed my mom and she just started the nonsense. Asking me how much weight I lost, telling me how I need to wear my clothes and just being overly obnoxious. I guess it hurts my feelings that she never says anything positive. She ALWAYS points out the obvious. Thanks, ma...I know I've picked up weight, I know my face is broken out etc. It might not seem like a big deal to others but to me it hurts. And makes it look like my mom is from hateration nation.

Like I said previously, I'm already self conscious...and my mom saying all this shit doesn't help me. Ultimately it's how about I feel about myself. Just lemme be great, damn!!!!

Despite all that I know what I'm capable of and I feel comfortable with what I bought. It's for me and not her. I'm just proud of myself that I'm breaking my norm. But, I'll always feel safe in some jeans, chucks, and a hoodie. LOL.