Upcoming

I despise holidays. Thanksgiving is 32 days away. (I just googled that. 🙄) Holidays make me extremely sad. It's been that way the last 6 years or so. It reminds me that I don't "really" have a family. I have my mama and my grandma...that's pretty much it. Sometimes I wish I had a kid, so I could have my own little family and start my own traditions. I guess I don't technically need my own family to start my own traditions. 🤔

Anyway. Every year on Thanksgiving & Christmas I ALWAYS feel some type of way. I'm normally be by myself. A couple of times folks have told me I can come over there place to kick it or whatnot. But, I rather not. I prefer my solitude because I don't wanna have to explain why I'm sad or attempt to make it make sense. This year I have my own space. So, I'll prolly be cold hard chillin.

I can't explain the feelings of emptiness that occur on holidays. It's almost as if sadness consumes me. But, I'm definitely happy that I can be in my own solitude this year and feel how I need to, without explaining to anyone. I'll have some easy food on deck, my favorite movies, and some drink (red cup chronicles).

My ultimate goal would be to travel on the holidays....but, the way my pockets are set up. 🙁 So instead, I'll be happy just to be back in my own space this year. That's a blessing in itself...