My heart is heavy and my spirit is being tried. Everything I have known the last 4.5
years has been thrown to the wayside. I am numb, hurt, sad, frustrated and beyond disappointed. I can not handle any more failed relationships and/or friendships. I just can't.
Being honest has always seemed to fail me. I always hurt someone's feelings in the process. So, in my mind...its like, should I have said anything at all? I don't like confrontation, nor do I like drama. The fact of the matter is... I've invested so much time into a friendship and it just abruptly ends. It makes me think...were we REALLY friends to begin with? I feel like a lost puppy...searching for a home. In this moment I feel extremely vulnerable and lonesome. Because someone that I trusted, was cool with, laughed with, had amazing experiences with etc etc....decided to end a friendship. That's a hard loss to cope with.
It all derives from a situation that was misconstrued and misunderstood. Then that turned to the real issue at hand; which was I thought someone was possessive. And because I told them this, they decided they didn't want to be my friend anymore. In hindsight, the whole thing is incredibly petty. I was thinking that we could just move on. Unfortunately, this was not the case. I mourn differently. Certain situations don't sink in for a while. But this? It sunk in instantly.
I'm still hoping that I'll receive a phone call, a text or just some type of message in general. But in reality, it is dead. It kinda makes me feel like I wish I never would've met this person. I've always been a loner and introvert. Then I find someone that I vibe with naturally and just hit it off. We hang out, talk almost everyday, we became travel buddies etc. But, now? I've officially deleted their text thread, their number, and have hidden our once bff pictures on my phone.
This isn't how I wanted the year to start off. Maybe we were only meant to be friends for a season. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe I was put in their life to teach them something. Maybe I'll be better off without this person. Even though I don't feel like that's the case in this moment. Someone once told me...they're not your real friend if you can't be honest with them. I guess if anything, this whole situation I learned that...I have to be honest with myself first.
2 comments:
Don’t start questioning character because of somebody else actions.it shit that I don’t like that get said so after getting over my at the moment feelings, I have to thin like mayb this person has a point let me do a self check. Like it was said before this does not have to do with you. There is a bigger underlying issue on that person behalf if they can just instantly cut off every single thing the friendship ever stood for...after it all boils over, u may get a call or u may not but don’t let it consume you. Just like any other hurdle you have had, you will be just fine and someone better will come along. I promise
And we grow....with each lesson learned...every step we take.... going forward to the next....we can't justify other peoples action just our own
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