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I just got home... maybe about 30 mins ago. It’s been a long day, per usual. Still sad. Still numb. Still feeling a way...😔 While I was driving... rightbefore I got to my apartment complex... a thought popped up into my head. As much as people have been saying that they love me lately and saying that they need me. I’ve lowkey convinced myself it’s not true. I think if I was gone today, no one would truly miss me. No one would need me.I don’t even know what I bring to someone’s life that they would need me so much. In this space I’m in, no one’s love matters. Cuz I don’t matter. Truth is I’m terrified to live and I’m terrified to die. There is no balance. There is no gray area. It’s black or white. I just wanna disappear. People can forget all about me. I’m just —- empty.