Tommy Pickles

My anxiety is on 1,000,000 and it has been since last nite. I’m getting some signs from the universe and I honestly dunno how to feel about it. I’m in a pretty good space. Feel’n more & more grown these days. And with that comes making GROWN decisions and putt’n my big girl drawz on. Lol. Everyone knows I overthink & constantly over analyze. It’s hindered me in a sense, because, I can never just outright make an executive decision. I have to talk to someone, write it out, and play the scenarios in my head over and over again. I know...🙄😩😔

Some years ago, this guy I was really into and who I thought was incredibly deep told me sum’n. He said, “time does not define love.” And I was like wow... that’s so true. It rings true in this current place of my life; and it has made me hella anxious and vulnerable. I HATE being vulnerable. I’m nervous that if I tell someone who I truly feel about them, the feeling won’t be reciprocated. This is when that motto comes into play: time does not define love. I feel like it’s too soon... but in the same sense, I can’t help how I feel. Legitimately, when I’m in... I’m all in. I know men move differently and feel differently from women. However, I gotta get it out and say what I need to say. I’m too old to be playing games at the big age of 31. I’m scared and also agitated. Lol. Agitated because now everytime I talk to this person... I wanna say it and can’t or I’m afraid of what his reaction will be.

In hindsight, I’m proud of myself. Extremely proud of myself because this time last year... I wasn’t able to be this open or honest. That goes for being vulnerable as well. So with that being said and how Tommy from the Rugrats would say: “A baby’s gotta do, what a baby gotsta do.” Lol.

Pray my strenf. In my head I swear I’ma thug... but my heart says otherwise.

love. all ways. always.