Elevatorz

It’s 6:20 and I’m sitting on the dock, impatiently waiting for 7 to hit so I can go to the break room and chillax. The last couple of days have been crazy... but crazy in a good way. However, the last month and half has been filled with stress, anxiety, and an alarming amount of worries. This weekend was worth it all. I stepped out of my norm, my comfort zone and my bubble to throw my bf a surprise party. When I say that this is the most stressed I have been a long time? ! Baybeh!!!! The struggle was real. But, to see his reaction... it was amazing. All of my effort, time, planning (and money) was worth it. I never wanna do that shit again... cuz certain days of the week I just wanted to say FUCK IT ALL. Lol. 

I was so happy that everything came together how it should, and the surprise wasn’t blown. 

I didn’t realize how anal and OCD stricken I was until planning this event. 🤦🏽‍♀️ 🤷🏽‍♀️ I’m just glad I start/plan things way ahead of time... just in case shit gets real. To see him ridiculously happy made me happy. Luckily my friends were there, as well as my Pops... which was a relief because I have anxiety. I had been praying hard that it would turn out great and it did! The relief I felt afterwards is/was unmatched. I was like yes, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! In the process of planning, it did feel like I was giving too much of myself away because I was so obsessed with making this event a success. So now it is time to get back to me and focus on what’s really important. 

I did this party, not only for him but for myself too. Stepping outside of bubble. Being all in for an introvert was definitely a difficult task but I made it happen. I wanted him to experience something he’s never had before. I wanted people to show up and show love, because he often does that for everyone else. I wanted him to have a good time, even if it was just for the night. He deserved that. We all do. With so much going on these days, you gotta love on people when and while you can. Ain’t no shame in my game. Appreciate folks while you can. Whether it’s a small gesture or a grand gesture, it doesn’t take much to love on someone. A hug, a text, positive words of affirmation or even some food.... it goes a long way. 

love. all ways. always.