The Ancestors

I remember years back talking to my grandmother about when I was born. She said I was bright eyed and bushy tailed and was looking all over the room. I just smiled as she recalled me being born. From a young age, I’ve always been different. For some reason, I have always resonated with older people. Many say that I ‘act old’. I used to be offended by it, but now I just embrace it. My mindset and demeanor isn’t what it should be. Throughout my life and even now, I take the lessons that I’ve learned from older folks and do my best to apply them to real life. Maybe it’s the stories they tell, or the constant encouragement that life ain’t so bad. I need that. I need a constant reminder that I’m doing okay in life and it could always be worse. From the new generation… I’d say anyone younger than 25, hearing their conversations are cringe worthy. At work I hear them all the time and I literally have to walk away. The arrogance, ignorance, and overall agitation that I feel. Different type of spirit is what I am. I feel like I have knowledge to pass to others. In a sense I also feel like, depending on how a person grew up… the most simple things… they may not know how to do. For example, when I got my first apartment. I didn’t really know how to grocery shop… so I was always buying junk food/pre made food. And I also thought you had a little bit more time to pay rent; until I got served with papers for being about 2 weeks late. But you live and learn as you get older. In this day making it to your next birthday is a major blessing. I’m not sure if I’m going to have children, but I definitely want to break generational curses and pass my knowledge along to anyone that’s going to listen and take heed. Life is meant to be experienced… the good, the bad, and the ugly. No one has it all figured it out and if they say they do… they’re lying. As cliché as it might sound, life is about the journey and not the destination. That was so old of me to say, but it’s facts. My daddy has always told me, “Keep on living.” With those words, I will. When I was younger I honestly thought you had to have it all figured it out by 25. Job, house, career. But now? Sheeeittttt… I’m about to be 34 and still tryna figure it out, and get it together. What life has taught me is there’s no timeline for your journey. You get there when you get there. There are many stops and detours, but at as long as we get to the destination eventually… that’s all that matters. To add to that philosophy… I also understand that God’s timing is everything as well. It’s a fine balance of appreciating what you have & what it took you to get to this point vs constantly wanting more and not appreciating what you have or where you are in the current moment. Gratitude and wisdom? It takes you more places than you realize. 

Think about what all our parents and loved ones had to go through to get where they are TODAY. Some are still struggling to survive and others are thriving. To learn from your elders and take heed of their knowledge? I feel like that’s all you need. Just the comfort from an elder makes a world of difference. Could just be me, but that love, compassion, and warmth let’s me know everything will be alright. Why? Because they’ve been through way worst shit and for them to say I’m doing okay in life? That’s all the motivation I need. So if I act like an old lady with a different type of a spirit? That’s because I am and my ancestors are looking after me & guiding me in the direction that I need to go. Even if I’m participating in some hoodrat shenanigans… they tap me on my shoulder and say… “I fully support”.